Making Gratitude Work for You
"Because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." - Wallace Wattles
Can you find gratitude in all things?
I’ve come to find that offering services a business coach can often feel like it comes with an up-front expectation of being perfectly infallible—or at least being already way richer than I currently am. With all the “fake” entrepreneur posts continuing to flood our social media feeds trying to have us believe we can own a Lamborghini too if we just buy the latest guru's latest gimmick, it's easy to fear being perceived no differently!
On the one hand, it’s easy to be frustrated with the nature of being in business for yourself, especially in the online space and all the drama that comes with it. On the other hand, I could also be grateful for it anyway. I could be grateful that there is always something more to aspire to in life. I could be grateful that an even higher standard could be expected of me. Or I could be grateful that being an authentic and relatable human is way more valuable to most in the current marketplace. There’s always a gift or something good to be had if you’re willing to look for it.
Now, if you are among the many suffering from recent events, a recent loss of a loved one, loss of a job or some other difficult experience, remember you're not alone. It can be difficult at first to be grateful in times of strife or grief. For me, like for so many others, Covid19 and the events that have followed over the past five years have brought forth a variety of challenges personally and professionally.
I eventually found I could be forever grateful for the different kinds of help I was fortunate to receive, and I'm grateful to have learned who I actually can count on for which kinds of help. Moreover, I can be grateful to have learned it's not just OK to ask for help, but developing the skill of getting the right kind of help from the right people is vital for long-term business success.
Where have you been able to find gratitude amidst all of life’s challenges and uncertainties?
Using Gratitude to Create a Breakthrough in Life or Business
In The Science of Getting Rich, a 112-year-old book I regularly reference, author Wallace D. Wattles wrote:
"The whole process of mental adjustment and atonement can be summed up in one word: gratitude."
In other words, getting our mind into a state of gratitude is how we can change the way we think and thus what we can gain in our lives. If that sounds overly simplistic or too "woo woo," at least give it a try—or at least be grateful for the opportunity to try!
In fact, the field of neuroscience has found that when you’re in a grateful state, your body actually releases neurotransmitters and hormones contributing to feelings of happiness and well-being, and your stress and anxiety gets improve due to factors like better regulated cortisol levels. Emotionally as well as physically, you literally have nothing to lose and much to gain with gratitude.
It's one thing to just express gratitude for the sake of expressing gratitude, which many seem to only do. It's quite another to specifically leverage gratitude to help you make a breakthrough in your life or business.
The following sequence of steps can help you with using gratitude as a tool to address any problem you might be having. The idea is that you want to use gratitude to convert the problem you’re having into a solution-oriented goal you can reasonably achieve:
Step 1: Identify the specific problem or "problem" you may be experiencing.
Step 2: Have gratitude that a solution is available and rewrite the problem as a goal you desire to achieve. Clearly define what the goal is and what specific solution or outcome(s) you wish to come from it.
Step 3: Take out a sheet of paper and write "GOAL = ", and fill in the blank with the clear and specific goal you came up with. On left side beneath it, write "Why I can't," and on the right side, write "How I CAN!"
Step 4: Start brainstorming all the possible "How I can" ideas that come to mind. Anytime you encounter a negative thought or a "Why I can't!” excuse, allow yourself to contemplate the positive opposite as a possibility.
Remember to stay in a state of gratitude. It’s all about being in a more positive vibratory state and thus more open to thinking about actual solutions instead of reinforcing the problem(s). For example, assuming a bank or a relative won’t give you a loan is an example of typical "Why I can't" thinking, but you'll write it down anyway as a "How I can…" example anyway because it's possible your assumptions about their approval process or their ability to still help anyway could be incorrect, e.g. they might be able to refer you somewhere that can approve you.
Step 5: When you get a "Why I can't," or another negative thought, DO NOT write it down. Doing so will just reinforce the unwanted thought or idea in your mind and it could find its way into your subconscious mind. Simply write "NEXT" in the column and then move to the next "How I CAN" idea as you stay in a state of gratitude for it being possible.
Step 6: If you get stuck thinking of ideas, give yourself permission to stretch your imagination even more. Even drifting off into what may seem like "magical thinking" might still generate something resembling a realistic image or possibility in your mind. You can also try rewriting what you've already written, but change the people, places, or other details involved.
Also, consider other possible "What if?" scenarios: "What if money wasn't the real issue?" or "What if I didn't have to worry about ___________ any more?"
"The key to solving your problems is helping someone else solve their problems."
I once heard a mentor say, "The law is that you have to give in order to get. Everything in nature makes a transaction with the nature around it."
Hence, one thing I do in service for my loyal audience is to write posts like this that can hopefully help them, their clients or students in some way. And if you are reading this, much gratitude again for being here and for being a part of my audience. If you haven’t subscribed already, do it now!
"How can you be useful to other people?"
When I presented at the annual Self-Employment in the Arts Conference in Chicago a month before the Covid pandemic changed the world, Darleen Jackson, aka “DJ Lady D,” the first African American woman to ever perform as a DJ at Lollapalooza, was the final keynote speaker. She gave an impassioned speech about branding and empowerment titled "Mission Possible." Check it out above if you have time.
One emphatic memorable line from the keynote was "How can you be useful to other people?" We so easily get used to just waiting around to get hired for jobs or cast in shows, we sometimes need to be reminded as we wait for those next gigs that there are always other people we can be offering to help out in mutually beneficial and empowering ways in order to get even closer to our goals and dreams.
So as an addendum to the above exercise, go through your "How I can" list, and in relation to each item on the list, think of all the possible people and all the possible ways in which you can also offer help. Write everything down even things that may not result in any immediate exchange of money, because you never know what additional financial or professional opportunity might arise on the other side of simply reaching out and asking them what kind of help they need.
To reinforce your state of gratitude, preface all your possible ideas to help people with, "I'm so happy and grateful I can help...." Then while maintaining a state of gratitude, contact them, ask how they are doing, and ask them what they really need. Be ready to see how you can help them, and if you can’t, maybe you'll know someone who can. Keep your mind open to those possibilities!
One thing I’ve found as an entrepreneur is that a lot of people are afraid to ask for help, and some deep down are desiring for someone to reach out and offer to help or connect in some way. So don't be afraid to be the potential difference maker in their lives. If you feel as though you don't have anything to give, send me a message and let's talk!
Much gratitude again for reading. I hope you have a wonder and safe Thanksgiving, and wish you a wonderful and safe holiday season! Please subscribe below for additional updates and content as it comes available!
PS - How did I change my attitude on gratitude in business?
Since talking about money and business success can often feel politically charged or otherwise triggering in my social circles as an artist and as a teacher, I’ve become quite fond of and empowered by some of the older books that have stood the test of time. One of the most significant books I came across was The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles, published in 1910!
Chapter 7, entitled, “Gratitude,” is a particularly moving chapter I regularly reread to remind myself to find the good in all things, no matter how challenging. It inspired me to write this post years ago that I recently republished here on Substack.
The more I studied and contemplated all of this book, the more I felt artistically, academically, and even spiritually permitted to not just think positively about money, but to think abundantly about creating lasting wealth, having success, and being grateful for it all!
The truth is actual business success requires a very different way of thinking from what we may have been taught in school. Studying The Science of Getting Rich helped me:
😀 Become more confident with my pricing.
🙃 Not be afraid to market and promote myself.
🤗 Sell with a greater sense of service.
😸 Get clarity that I’m really in the right business.
🤩 Develop unshakable faith I can succeed at anything.
🥹 Feel permitted to live the life I actually want to live!
These are just a few of the results I and my clients have gained since this book became a philosophical cornerstone of my business.
And now I would love to extend to YOU an invitation to a new live virtual coaching and mastermind opportunity I’m offering to an intimate group of 4-6 entrepreneurs starting next month based on its teachings and more! Click below to learn more and register.
Double PS - Grow Your Money Voice is back!
Ready for what most DON’T teach about earning more money? 😳
Want to learn how you can leverage your relationship with money and take your career or business to a whole new level?
If you’re ready to take the next step and get your money mindset primed for your next level of success, check out the upcoming new cohort of my signature Grow Your Money Voice group training starting in January, Click here to learn more and register! Send me a DM if you have any questions.
