"You're Not Working": The Lie Used to Control Artists, Builders, and Innovators
A manifesto for anyone whose economic power was framed as delusion by the people it threatened—yet they’re building a better world anyway.
They’ll say you’re not working—
while eating the food they made you buy,
living for free in your home,
and demanding you serve them.
They’ll say you’re not working—
while expecting immediate text replies,
and making threats when you don’t respond.
Because what they fear most…
is a builder who doesn’t need their permission.
They’ll say you’re not working—
as you build the business that will free you.
As you make your sales calls with a burner phone.
As you still teach, care, build, write, recalibrate, and survive.
But what they really mean is this:
“You’re not working for me.”
“You’re not producing outcomes I can immediately extract.”
That’s the truth no one wants to admit.
The phrase “you’re not working” has nothing to do with labor.
It has everything to do with leverage.
“You’re Not Working” is a Trope—A Tool for Coercive Control
The moment someone says “you’re not working”—especially when you’re building something—they are not making an observation.
They are issuing a threat:
Start producing for me, or lose legitimacy.
This trope is:
How abusers deny your reality.
How institutions offload responsibility.
How families justify withholding support.
How cultures punish slow-builders and long-game thinkers.
I’ve lived it.
I’ve been screamed at for “not working”
—while building a diagnostic system more structurally sound than many multi-six- and likely even some seven-figure businesses.
—while designing tools that would’ve already scaled if I had people around me supporting me instead of sabotaging me.
—while being locked out of my own home or not allowed to sleep for many nights until I came home with $200 from Uber driving—sometimes even after they made me be their bar hopping chauffeur until 3AM.
“YOU’RE NOT WORKING!”—
It Does NOT Mean What You Think
It does not mean:
You’re lazy.
You’re unmotivated.
You need a brain scan.
You’re a drain on society.
You deserve to be treated poorly.
It means:
You’re not visibly laboring in a way someone else finds immediately profitable.
You’re doing emotional, intellectual, or strategic work that takes time to crystallize.
You are refusing to rush your vision just to silence someone else’s insecurity.
And so they call it nothing.
But it’s not nothing.
It’s often the work society depends on most—but will actively discredit—until it’s done or proven.
What the “You’re Not Working” Trope Erases
Caregiving: “You’re just at home all day…”
Yes… changing my father’s colostomy bags, doing his Total Parenteral Nutrition, and making sure he could get around the house without collapsing in his final months. Handling the estate while being rushed to move out of his house to put it on the market. I could go on, but I’m just “not working.”
Entrepreneurship: “You’ve been failing at that for years.”
It takes years of trial and error for a legit, scalable business to get off the ground in a permanent, durable way—especially if “loved ones” would rather say, “You’re not working,” than give you sufficient space to do the work.
It’s why so many crash and burn from relying on hype or fake urgency.
Innovation: “What is that even supposed to be?” “No one will pay for that.” “You’re delusional.” “Your dad fucked you up!”
—Not only did they reject the work, they pathologized the reason for it. They don’t want to understand it; they need a reason to ignore it and control the narrative. And what better way to discredit something than to say it’s just “grievance therapy” in disguise?
Applying to Jobs: Even after doing hours of unpaid “sample work” or teaching demos just to maybe get an interview:
“You must not know how to interview.”
“You should be making a ‘shit ton’ already.”Any Form of Remote Work—even with a salary:
“You can’t make money sitting on a couch.”
“You’re just playing ‘Laptop Barbie.’”
Running a Private Voice Studio out of your home:
“It’s fake work”—and you can only schedule lessons while they’re at their “real” job. You can’t even go attend a student’s recital without a battle.
Music Ministry: “It’s just church!” (The substandard pay can be a much bigger affliction than you realize.)
Soloist with Orchestra: “You’re doing nothing but singing a stupid song.”
Professional Regional Theatre: “Stop it with the theatre camp and grow up.”—but your boss or family still expects front-row comp tickets.
—And never mind if all the above did pay, filled your resume with reasons to get paid more, and grew your professional network—including future coaching clients.
Lastly, when you’re trying to heal—physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually—often from them—they’ll still say:
“You don’t really want to work.”
“You need to get your act together.”
NONE of these are “Not Working.”
One of the biggest problems the artistic industries face—but no one wants to talk about—is how we’re dealing with a society where too many have been culturally conditioned to treat almost any form of artistic or passion-driven labor—even when you have a doctorate in it—as “not real work.”
Hence I’ve originated the phrase, “GOD DMA IT!!!™”
I’m not writing this for pity though…
Because I know if someone like me can experience any of the above from significant others, family, friends, colleagues, bosses, and strangers, then GOD ONLY KNOWS how many others are experiencing this—often in much worse ways!
But as you can infer from the above, the arts are just a tiny sliver of the invisible scaffolding actually holding up our economy—vital scaffolding that gets discarded precisely because it doesn’t generate fast and immediately extractable results.
What “You’re Not Working” is Designed to Destroy
Every time someone says, “You’re not working,” here’s what they’re really doing:
They’re disincentivizing future innovation
They’re discrediting structural investment
They’re encouraging dependence on extractive models
They’re silencing exactly the people who could offer an exit plan or chart a path to a brighter future—for everyone
They’re erasing the labor it takes to repair what their systems broke in the first place
They’re punishing anyone whose value can’t be measured in urgency, output, or obedience
This is why economic abuse and innovation suppression go hand in hand.
Because the people who most want to control you can’t afford for your work to pay off—oftentimes even when it would pay them immediately and they could take credit for it.
🛑 What I Survived—And Still, They Said It
There were times when I was coerced to just Uber drive all night for the immediate cash—and I was prevented from auditioning, applying for teaching jobs, or promoting my business.
On one very slow Sunday night, I accepted the only request I could get—and it went through a very bad part of town.
It was almost 2 AM. It was foggy. And a drunk driver quickly flew out of nowhere and T-boned me before I could even see it. My vehicle swiftly spun in a circle and stopped without flipping thanks to a wooden telephone pole. The vehicle was totaled. If I was driving any faster, my body might have taken a direct fatal blow.
But I had only made $52 so far that night.
So even then, it was the same refrain:
“You’re not working.”
After every doctor’s appointment.
After every physical therapy session.
After every denied insurance claim.
“You’re not working.”
After I secured additional remote work.
After I turned my frameworks into intellectual property.
After I built a system that can hold under pressure.
“You’re not working.”
Because my work didn’t immediately serve them.
And it threatened the story they needed me to stay in.
In My Case…
I was working on a book—designed to help everyone earn more—
when my laptop was submerged in water.
I was designing a methodology to replace coercive coaching—
while being coerced to apply to six-figure jobs I was unqualified for.
I was architecting income structures that could hold—
while my own accounts were being monitored, tools hidden, and safety compromised.
And still, they said:
“You’re not working.”
Because it didn’t serve their control.
It threatened to name it.
⚔️ But What I Did Anyway…
“You’re not working.”
But I kept writing—for a while on my phone!—the work they tried to prevent.
“You’re not working.”
But I built a business model that doesn’t require emotional compliance.
“You’re not working.”
But I developed a diagnostic framework that can mitigate economic coercion.
“You’re not working.”
But I helped artists and entrepreneurs reclaim value, income, and dignity.
“You’re not working.”
But I’ve done more under siege than most do with support.
“You’re not working.”
But I was building a future they’ll one day try to claim as their idea.
One Final Word
If someone tells you “You’re not working”—
stop and ask yourself:
Am I not working?
Or am I no longer letting them own my labor?Am I not working?
Or am I no longer letting them colonize my income?Am I not working?
Or am I no longer letting myself perform a role I never auditioned for?
If you’ve ever been silenced by the phrase, “you’re not working,” or anything similar (see the addendum), you are not alone.
If you’ve ever had your innovation treated like laziness, your healing dismissed as delay, or your artistry or entrepreneurship reduced to a hobby or a mental disturbance—
This was written for you.
You’re not failing.
You’re being targeted by individuals and systems that extract profit from discrediting anyone who tries to work outside their rigged rules.
And you don’t owe anyone a performance of urgency to prove you’re real.
You already are.
The fact that you read this far proves it.
Keep creating.
Keep innovating.
Keep doing the real work that’s actually going to make our world better.
Extracting their ability to extract and creating a better economy where integrity is their only option left will be the sweetest revenge.
And for those of us who made it out?
The recapitulation of power is already underway.
🎯 ADDENDUM:
Other Hidden Phrases That Keep You Powerless
AKA: the language of economic gaslighting, invisible labor erasure, and structural sabotage
Some of these phrases may seem harmless—or even “concerned”—on the surface. But they often carry an implicit message:
"Your labor doesn't count unless it serves me, conforms to traditional models, or performs visibly."
🛑 Minimizing Language:
“That’s not a real job.”
“It’s just a hobby, right?”
“So when are you going back to work?”
“You’re still doing that little thing?”
“That’s nice, but what do you really do?”
“That’s just something on the side though, yeah?”
“It’s not like you’re curing cancer.”
“You're just doing stuff online?”
“You don’t actually make money from that, do you?”
🚩 Performative Concern / Respectability Pressure:
“I just worry you’re wasting your potential.”
“Shouldn’t you have more to show for it by now?”
“You should think about something more stable.”
“Have you considered just getting a normal job again?”
“But how are you going to explain that on your resume?”
“You need something with real benefits.”
“Don’t you think it’s time to grow up?”
🧨 Gaslighting Disguised as Motivation:
“You’re choosing struggle.”
“You clearly don’t want success badly enough.”
“You just need more discipline.”
“Maybe you just need to want it more.”
“You’re afraid of success, that’s all.”
“You’re addicted to drama.”
“You’re too sensitive for business.”
⚠️ Coercive Comparison:
“So-and-so makes six figures doing X. Why don’t you?”
“So-and-so just bought a house—why can’t you do that?”
“Other people your age already have families and pensions.”
“Your sister’s job has health insurance.”
“Your brother never asked for help.”
🧃 Social Media & Visibility Dismissals:
“You’re just trying to go viral.”
“That’s not a business, it’s just Instagram.”
“No one wants to see your face all the time.”
“No one makes money from the couch.”
“You know you’re just playing ‘Laptop Barbie,’ right?”
🪓 Emotional Manipulation as Commentary:
“It must be nice to have all that free time.”
“Not everyone can afford to sit around and be creative.”
“I wish I had the luxury to ‘follow my dreams.’”
“Some of us have to work.”
“I’m sorry, I just can’t respect someone who doesn’t hustle.”
💢 Spiritual or Moral Undermining:
“God helps those who help themselves.”
“That’s not what real people do.”
“You’re being selfish for focusing on that.”
“You should be more grateful.”
“You’re wasting the gifts God gave you.”
🔥 When They Want to Cut You Down Without Looking Like the Villain:
“I’m just saying this because I care.”
“It’s just tough love.”
“Don’t take it so personally.”
“You always make everything about you.”
“No one is trying to hurt you.”
These phrases often function less as feedback and more as control tactics—designed to collapse your confidence, rush your process, or re-center their power.
The moment someone says them?
That’s not your failure.
That’s their fear of your freedom.
If you’ve been quietly enduring this kind of sabotage and haven’t had the words for it until now—let this article be your turning point. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re being systemically discredited for building or doing something they can’t control.
🔒 And PS — If This Essay Made Something Click…
And no matter your identity, or your social or economic circumstances:
If this makes you question whether you’re really in a safe, supportive and loving home or relationship, please don’t ignore that instinct.
When it’s safe to do so, here are two resources for support:You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be believed.
And your work deserves to grow in peace—not under threat.
One More PS: Vision Requires Capital
Not hype.
Not emotional compliance.
Actual capital.
And the more I can raise, the more people I can help sooner.
What I’ve created speaks for itself—now imagine the impact with proper backing and aligned capital. Please consider becoming a paid subscriber, tipping, or reaching out for deeper business support—give yourself first-mover advantage.
💵 This isn’t a performance. It’s a recalibration.
And we need allies who aren’t afraid to back it with more than applause.
Message me to discuss a custom experience for your organization.
Let’s redirect resources away from exploitation—and build an economy where the people building the future don’t have to fight so hard just to survive.
With love and gratitude,
Brian
I love this! This goes right to the heart of my piece on Imposter Syndrome. It’s interrelated. We live in a society that only legitimizes people or accepts your “success” if you are showing a profit. Or at least “look really busy.” But half of the problem is that creativity often looks lazy. Like your story, I am caring for an aging mom, handling other personal challenges and working at my craft… many many hours of unpaid and unseen labor. But in the background I am always working. In my head I am planning a recital, thinking about repertoire choices for a student, etc… I may not be doing a recital series, but all this planning and learning music…. That has to happen first! Do people think that all happens by magic? And so we’re “lazy.” I love that you spell it out. And encourage us to embrace our artistic nature without apologies. 🎶👏🎶👏
And if you’re wondering what “You’re not working” also looks like, check out the latest article on my other page:
https://thelucrativevoice.substack.com/p/the-voice-the-structure-and-the-standard