Are You a Squirrel?
Would a squirrel ever even ask itself that?
Happy October!
Every fall, the squirrels and others are out and about everywhere reminding us of our abundant universe. The only emotions they seem to exhibit while harvesting are happiness and gratitude. And while we humans may stress over work, politics, our careers, or other challenges of the day, the creatures outside serve as a reminder that nature doesn’t struggle, nor does it live in doubt, fear, and worry. Animals don’t go around questioning why they exist, why they do what they do, what kind of careers they should have, or who they really are. They just go about life doing what they instinctive know they're meant to do.
When we as humans fail to be our most authentic selves in our lives and in our work, it's not just about whether or not we're honoring our worth while doing the jobs or performing in the shows or gigs we really want; it also goes deeper into who or what we truly identify as, the true meaning behind what we want to be, do, and have, and/or the purpose we were put on this planet for.
“You were put here to go after what you want, but you were conditioned to go after what you need.”
A mentor once told me that, and it's one we need to constantly remind ourselves of. The last show I did before the pandemic was Handel's Giulio Cesare in Chicago; I sang the role of Achille. I had fun and made some wonderful friends and colleagues, but it wasn't an opportunity to fulfill my deepest desires. I mostly just thought I needed it to keep the performing career going and keep the operatic resume looking "current" based upon the limiting belief system espoused by too many in the opera industry.
It was yet another example in life where I needed to honestly ask myself this question with regularity:
Am I being who and what I truly want to be, or am I really being something for someone else?
There are so many stories of entire lives or careers that only came about as the result of people deciding to only to do what a parent, spouse, teacher, guidance counselor or some other perceived figure of authority told or permitted them to do. But we don’t see animals going around telling their offspring what they can and cannot do with their lives. We humans, on the other hand, arguably do too much of it, usually out of "safety." Sometimes it’s to a point where we will intentionally choose to rebel, but the rebelling itself can also be a very inauthentic experience, albeit from the opposite direction.
A squirrel doesn't go around every day wondering if it's a squirrel or if it's not a squirrel. It doesn't have to go to school to learn how to climb trees, fetch acorns, and avoid getting hit by cars. Everything they do is mainly by their natural animalistic instinct. At best, "school" for animals is a learn-by-living affair at the youngest of ages. Nature doesn't struggle and there is a significant universal intelligence guiding all of it.
Squirrels don't have to live in fear of taking too many acorns or procreating too much—abundance is their birthright! But we humans have this unique power to consciously choose, and the subconscious belief systems we've been programmed with generation after generation cause us to struggle mightily with this power. Too often the “safe” choice isn’t really all that safe in the long run, but it's all we are aware of, or it's all we know in order to maintain the love and approval of others.
"Squirrel! Squirrel...!"
When I let the dogs out into the yard, if a squirrel is on the ground, they will instinctively want to chase after it. They'll often know there's a squirrel before I can even tell them! The squirrel will then instinctively want to get away up a tree immediately so the dogs won't catch it. Squirrels get used to fleeing from other animals at an early age. Squirrels also get used to avoiding getting hit by cars, at least the ones that have a severely close call or survive a hit; they usually will have learned a lesson of sorts and will likely know not to go near cars or the road thereafter.
Humans sometimes are the same way, and sometimes the trauma of a near-death or an otherwise emotionally-charged event is what it takes to cause someone to make a serious transformational change in their behavior or thinking. Case in point, I didn’t finally invest in myself and get a coach until my typical career struggles turned into an atypical midlife crisis.
My second chihuahua, Wotan, was likely hit by a car when he was found in the streets of Tucson, Arizona as a one-year-oldish pup. Because he required too much medical care, the shelter was on the verge of euthanizing him. Tucson Cold Wet Noses rescued him, got him the veterinary care he needed, and placed him into a foster home. When I adopted him a couple months later, I noticed he tended to swiftly veer away from the road whenever a car would pass by. When I pointed it out at his veterinary first checkup, the vet said, "Looks like he learned his lesson."
Overtime, despite the traumatic experience as a puppy, he got more and more comfortable on his walks and veered away less and less until he didn't veer away anymore. He trusted being by my side—and along side his adopted brother Alberich—after just a couple months of getting used to walking on or near the streets.
Business & Mindset Growth Also Take Practice!
In order to actually get what we want in life, short of the right emotionally charged external event happening, it’s going to take constant practice and repetition in training our mindset. Just as repetition and practice are essential to training our pets—not to mention training for our artistry—it's likewise essential to growing as an entrepreneur, especially if you've never been one or you don't come from an entrepreneurial family. There are significant mindset shifts we all need to keep making in order to confidently start thriving or to get to the next level—and there's always another level!
We all have hidden beliefs, and sometimes not-so-hidden beliefs, around money, business and careers, many of which were programmed into our subconscious minds at an early age. For example, many believe only certain kinds of manual labor are acceptable forms of "hard work" to earn money—unlike the work most artists do. In our society, there is a sort of inverse correlation between how much you should get paid and how passionate you are about doing the work. This makes it challenging for artists and educators to confidently charge for what their offers are worth and sell the offers with confidence.
If you were raised in a working- or middle-class family where everyone just had jobs, you'll likely have to address a series of similar value conflicts as you veer into entrepreneurship. It's not easy to be your own boss if you were raised by parents who hated their bosses, it's not easy to be your own best salesperson when you were raised to distrust salespeople, and it's not easy to charge your worth and become financially empowered if you were raised with money being a touchy or taboo topic.
The older we are, the longer we were programmed and the more challenging it may be to get the mindset shifts we need planted into our subconsciousness in order to thrive or thrive even more in our businesses. But anyone at any age with the will to do it can do so with enough repetitive study and practice. This is why business coaching exists.
According to the 21/90 Rule, it takes 21 days to instill a new habit and 90 days to make a permanent lifestyle change. And so even though I offer VIP Days and à la carte promotional offerings, my signature private coaching package offers start at six months, and my signature group offers tend to be 90 days or 3-6 months. This allows enough time to not only address the clients' existing money stories and instill new beliefs, it also provides adequate time to implement the new beliefs and the related strategies in their businesses.
There is a vital benefit of being available for a client, especially if they don't have much support from friends and family, as they endure the inevitable trials and errors that come with being a business owner on the way to celebrating the inevitable successes. Being available via phone, messenger and private Facebook groups in between sessions when the biggest questions and challenges arise can often be more valuable than the sessions themselves!
If you're ready to take the next step in your business and are looking for support to get there so you can more fully carry out your purpose, feel free to DM me and we can talk more.